You Betcha You're from Minnesota When...
My mother sent me by snail mail a xerox copy of a fax of a
printout of an e-mail, which I could hardly read, so I decided to create
a WWW version of it for all of posterity. Needless to say, it's by
Anonymous.
You betcha you're from Minnesota when...
- You only own three spices...salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
- You've spent the last 15 minutes getting your child dressed to
play in the snow only to have him tell you he has to go to the POTTY
NOW!
- You thought Grumpy Old Men was documentary.
- You design your Halloween costumes to fit over snowmobile
suits.
- You feel warm and toasty at -12°.
- You know what leaves make good toilet paper.
- You know the four seasonsWinter, Still Winter, Not
Winter and Almost Winter.
- Or: You know there are only two seasonsWinter and The
Time When They Fill In The Potholes In The Road.
- Though you're not breaking the law, you break into a cold
sweat when the game warden appears.
- You know
Ole and Lena personally.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- You think the opening of deer season is a national holiday.
- You find -40° only a mite chilly.
- You think everyone from a different state has an accent.
- Your husband thinks sexy lingerie is a flannel nightgown with
only eight buttons.
- You've ever taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- You find it exciting to stare through a hole in the ice and
look at the bottom.
- You have ten favorite recipes for venison.
- You can tell
the difference between a gopher and a chipmunk at 300 yards.
- You think white rice is exotic and wild rice is a hot dish.
- You've attended a formal affair in your best dress, wearing
your finest jewelry and your Sorrels.
- Somewhere in the state is a piece of frozen metal with bits of
your tongue stuck to it.
- At least three times a year your kitchen doubles as a meat
processing plant.
- When you win the prize for the smallest fish, you're proud of
it.
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Robbin D. Knapp robb@robbsbooks.com