You Betcha You're from Minnesota When...
My mother sent me by snail mail a xerox copy of a fax of a
printout of an e-mail, which I could hardly read, so I decided to create
a WWW version of it for all of posterity. Needless to say, it's by
Anonymous.
You betcha you're from Minnesota when...
- You only own three spices...salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
- You've spent the last 15 minutes getting your child dressed to
play in the snow only to have him tell you he has to go to the POTTY
NOW!
You thought Grumpy Old Men was documentary.
- You design your Halloween costumes to fit over snowmobile
suits.
- You feel warm and toasty at -12°.
- You know what leaves make good toilet paper.
- You know the four seasonsWinter, Still Winter, Not
Winter and Almost Winter.
- Or: You know there are only two seasonsWinter and The
Time When They Fill In The Potholes In The Road.
- Though you're not breaking the law, you break into a cold
sweat when the game warden appears.
You know
Ole and Lena personally.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- You think the opening of deer season is a national holiday.
- You find -40° only a mite chilly.
- You think everyone from a different state has an accent.
- Your husband thinks sexy lingerie is a flannel nightgown with
only eight buttons.
- You've ever taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- You find it exciting to stare through a hole in the ice and
look at the bottom.
- You have ten favorite recipes for venison.
You can tell
the difference between a gopher and a chipmunk at 300 yards.
- You think white rice is exotic and wild rice is a hot dish.
- You've attended a formal affair in your best dress, wearing
your finest jewelry and your Sorrels.
- Somewhere in the state is a piece of frozen metal with bits of
your tongue stuck to it.
- At least three times a year your kitchen doubles as a meat
processing plant.
- When you win the prize for the smallest fish, you're proud of
it.
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Robbin D. Knapp robb@robbsbooks.com